I let my new client know what would happen when I arrived at her home when she was in labour. We talked about sanitation measures, spending time in the kitchen, setting up the pool, and where I could take a nap if she needed some privacy. I said I would not be doing any vaginal exams as I think they’re rude, and she wept with relief.
I specialise in trauma and the majority of my clients are refugees from the medical system, running from ritual abuse and routines that protect the industry. They want someone to mentor them through to a healthy birth without the traps and trappings of the industry that removed their choice, and violated their autonomy and their dignity.
As a traditional birth attendant, I don’t do vaginal exams.
Read moreI let my new client know what would happen when I arrived at her home when she was in labour. We talked about sanitation measures, spending time in the kitchen, setting up the pool, and where I could take a nap if she needed some privacy. I said I would not be doing any vaginal exams as I think they’re rude, and she wept with relief.
I specialise in trauma and the majority of my clients are refugees from the medical system, running from ritual abuse and routines that protect the industry. They want someone to mentor them through to a healthy birth without the traps and trappings of the industry that removed their choice, and violated their autonomy and their dignity.
As a traditional birth attendant, I don’t do vaginal exams.
Read moreOne third of birthing parents has a traumatic birth.
“The system is broken.”
One in 8 new parents enters parenthood with postpartum PTSD from the experience.
“The system is broken.”
Depending on where you live, one third, one half, or almost everyone has a surgical birth.
“The system is broken.”
One in 6 women are abused during their births.
“The system is broken.”
If we say it enough, we might believe it. However, the “system” is decidedly NOT broken. It is doing exactly what it was set up to do by any means available to it.
Read moreI’ve written about many topics over the years but nothing has ever generated as much discussion, opposition, and vitriol as challenging the cherished routine membrane sweep/stripping, aka stretch-and-sweep. A few years ago, I wrote a post about how I’d like to see the routine, prior-to-40-weeks, without-medical-indication membrane sweep banned from obstetrical and midwifery practice. I talked about its risks and the fact that the clients I worked with called it a sexual assault when done without consent
The post went viral and I received hate messages and emails from around the world defending this procedure. In general, the sentiment was that I should most definitely be having sexual relations with myself, after which, I should be locked up and forever silenced. I also heard from hundreds of women whose births were ruined by days of painful, non-progressing contractions triggered by a membrane sweep that ended up in a fully medicalised all-the-interventions arrival for their baby that they didn’t want. And horrifically, even more hundreds wrote to share their stories of non-consenting, painful, and violating membrane sweeping when there was no reason for it, aside from the care provider’s decision that they had agency over their patient’s vagina and could do what they wanted when they wanted.
So what is it about membrane sweeping that is so cherished that challenging it generates death threats?
Read moreEveryone has an intellectual/mental/emotional operating system – a personal paradigm that serves as a frame of reference containing basic assumptions and ways of thinking. This personal paradigm is the means by which we make sense of the world around us. It helps us to filter, understand, and categorise information and experiences. It helps us to know what is “true” and what isn’t; it guides our responses and our actions.
Humans are designed to be in connection with each other. We operate mostly unconsciously through hormones, synapses, and other magical pathways. Our primary operating system is our para-sympathetic nervous system – our “calm and connected” system. This part of our autonomic nervous system keeps our hearts beating, our lungs breathing, and our food digesting. The main hormone of this system is oxytocin – the hormone of love, trust, bonding, and connection. This is why isolation is so effective at crushing and changing people, and why friends and loved ones can heal and nurture new ideas.
Personal paradigms, once settled and serving us reasonably well are most likely to be changed by 2 things: Great Suffering or Great Love.
Read moreIt’s frustrating for care providers when their client comes armed with a 10-page birth plan, an army of doulas, and a mistrustful and hostile attitude. Care providers exist for the sole purpose of providing medical or midwifery services for pregnant, birthing, and postpartum clients and their goal is to help them emerge healthy and whole. Unfortunately, this creates friction before the relationship begins.
A mistrustful client has probably already had her trust broken by someone else long before they come armed with the minute details of how they need things to unfold. They may have already experienced abuse, neglect, sexual assault, victimisation, and trauma. Their trauma might have been the result of an abusive childhood, racial adversity, marginalisation, being the victim of a crime, or it might have been the result of a previous traumatic birth experience.
Read moreI received yet another phone call from someone who was trying to sort out the risks of staying pregnant versus the risks of being induced. From what the client could share, it was hard to know if the practitioner wasn’t fully informed on placental calcification at term, or wasn’t fully forthcoming about the non-clinical indications of that particular development in a healthy pregnancy.
To be sure, there are times when the benefits of an induction to rescue a compromised baby far outweigh the short and long-term risks of an induction.
Unfortunately, when trying to make an informed decision, clients often need to learn what their practitioners don’t know or won’t tell them.
Read moreIn an epic sleight of hand, the US obstetrical industry has managed to produce a study that affirms the “benefits” of universal elective induction of labour at 39 weeks. Headlines have trumpeted this remarkable accomplishment! Inducing labour early “prevents” c-sections!
The conclusion of the much anticipated ARRIVE study are presented in their abstract:
“IOL (induction of labour) in low-risk nulliparous women (first-time mothers) results in a lower frequency of CD (caesarean delivery) without a statistically significant change in the frequency of a composite of adverse perinatal outcomes.”
Obstetricians now have the much-desired go-ahead to routinely induce healthy first-time mothers prior to reaching 40 weeks under the guise that it will reduce c-sections with no additional negative outcomes to the mother or baby.
This is the same outrageous chicanery that brought us the ridiculously executed Term Breech Trial that changed obstetrical practices around the world. It was the excuse the industry was looking for to do what they already wanted to do: surgery.
Read moreWe were sitting across her kitchen table. A tissue was being nervously mangled in her trembling hands.
“I just can’t do it again,” she said. “Can you tell me about your daughter’s birth,” I asked her?
She explained that everyone told her it was a good birth. Her doctor said it was textbook perfect. Her mother was there and repeated her version of her granddaughter’s birth to everyone who would listen. It was natural. It was quick. It was the best day ever.
And as the story unfolded, tears welled up in my eyes, finally spilling down my own cheeks. It was an awful experience. And my heart broke into pieces again.
She described a birth where she was tortured with screamingly painful vaginal exams, weeping for them to stop, thrashing to escape the confines of the hospital bed where she was tethered to the monitoring machine for policy’s sake, begging to stand up, move, sway, anything to cope with her rapidly advancing labour. Her voice buried under a gentle shush so as not to scare the other mothers.
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